Clear the past, And my head
by I shipp lizter
Summary: Esme goes to visit her baby boys final resting place, but things take a turn when she comes up with a crazy way to clear her head of her bad memories. Esme's POV. Post Breaking Dawn. Rated T for language. One-Shot.


Esme's POV

There I stood, on a hot summer day. The wind was blowing my hair ever woo slightly. Carlisle was standing next to me, gripping my hand tightly. We had come back to Columbus for one reason only. Well actually two the first reason being that today was the day my son had died, over 80 years ago. I promised that someday I would come back. And today was that day. The second reason, I didn't find out til later that day.

Carlisle and I stood in the graveyard where my parents, sister, ex husband, and baby boy were buried. I had come to see all of them, except one. I truly had no reason at all to want to she Charles. I knelt down next to my baby's grave and began to cry. All the sorrow and pain filled me heart. It hurt. Grieving.

"I miss you so much" I whispered between my tearless sobbing. I layed down the flowers I had brought with me. I stood back up and then crouched down next to my parents graves.

"I miss you guys too" I said putting my hands on the tombstones. I missed them deeply. Next I went to my sisters grave and placed my head against the stone. "I wish they had been kinder to you Grace," I said looking up. It was true. My sister had a mental disease that now days would be considered autism. My parents placed her in an asylum and the treatment ended up killing her. My final stop was my ex husbands grave. I knelt right on top of it. My fingers wiped away the dirt on his name. My sorrow and pain, suddenly turned into anger and pure aggression. I wanted revenge. But on a dead person? How?

"Carlisle?" I asked my husband.

"Yes dear" he said.

"I'm going to do something you really won't like. Please don't stop me. I have to do this." I told him. He put his hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

"Do what you need." He said. I knew he wasn't going to try and stop me. I looked at him and then back at the tombstone. I let all the pent up anger free. I clench my fist and raised it. Time to let the foul language fly.

"This is for all the hell you put me through, you son of a bitch!" I yelled. I threw my fist at the tombstone. It smashed into a thousand pieces, because of the vampire strength. My anger felt like it disappeared upon the impact. My fist still clenched in a fist, I began to sob again. I felt my husbands arms wrap around me and pull me to may feet. I buried my face in his chest and cried until I could cry anymore. Carlisle and I left the cemetery. I got in the drivers seat, much to Carlisle surprise. We sped down the highway and came to a stop 10 minutes outside of Columbus. The sun was beginning to set so I took off my coat, hat, and sunglasses. I got out of the car and walked to the edge of the cliff I had thrown myself off of 80 years ago. There was now a fence there and it was a viewing area for the public. No one was here and it was getting dark. I looked out over the area but refused to look down. Ever since that day, I really haven't liked heights. I rested my head in the tall fence as I listened to the water rushing below. The cliff dropped straight down and there was a small space at the bottom, kind of like a beach, before there were rushing waters. I had gotten the idea while driving. I had to overcome my fear of heights. Carlisle's curious eyes watched me from a few feet back. I swung my leg up over the fence and was now on the other side. There was only a foot distance between me and the edge. I felt Carlisle's arms grab hold of me.

"What on earth are you doing?" he asked, clearly panicked. I turn and looked at him.

"For 80 years I've been afraid of heights because of this damn cliff. Not anymore. I'm jumping." I said, in a tone that would make it clear I was serious.

"Then I'm going with you" he said, jumping over the fence. He stood next to me, and gripped my hand tight. He looked at me and smiled. "Whenever you're ready" he said. I leaned forward a little, and looked down. Suddenly my vision was quickly replaced with a memory of me on the edge of this cliff 80 years ago. Then I came back to reality. No more stalling. I looked at Carlisle.

"Jump" I said, and we both stepped off the edge together. I briefly closed my eyes as the memory of me falling, slowly became fuzzier, until it completely disappeared. I opened them again, as we hit the bottom. I landed on my butt due to my lack of concentration. I looked at Carlisle who was still holding my hand. He pulled me into a hug, before we made our way back to the top. We began our journey home.

After our visit to Columbus, all of the bad memories disappeared. I never saw myself jump off the cliff, or Charles hit me ever again. My conscious was clear. All I ever saw, was the ones I loved, and my precious baby boy, William.


End file.
